After several years of being divorced, filled with a couple of relationships and a string of dating, I found myself feeling lonely. Now, before you get all ‘but you’re never truly alone,’ I totally agree with you. But my human mind was doing that whole if I had _____, then I’d be fulfilled thing. It’s not a cute look, I know, but this is me being honest and open with you all.
My heart craved a partner who gets me, who doesn’t laugh when I say I’m waiting to launch my program until after Mercury Retrograde and who appreciates my crazy multi-passionate ways. Yes, I’m all over the place. Yes, I love unicorns and yes, I think believe I can manifest them. Oh and I believe that I can find a partner who loves all of that and the not-so-awesome parts of me too! Yet, why couldn’t I manifest this super stud of a man into my life.
After have 8 dates in two weeks, I realized that I totally knew what I was looking for and totally lost at the same time. I know that I am whole and that no ONE can add or take away from that wholeness that I am. I was curious as to why I feel lonely, when I know better than that. This knowing seems to make it all the more frustrating. I’ve had one of the more challenging years of my life, yet I’ve been able to handle most of it with more grace and ease than ever before.
I was choosing to fill my life with food, wine and good conversation to escape the real underlying issues that haunted me. I didn’t want to face the crap and the real issue of being scared to be alone. Then after each break-up or fizzling out, I began to question my self-worth or if I could have it all. What was I willing to compromise on and what were the deal-breakers? Wouldn’t I just know? I wanted to manifest true love, yet I know that EVERYTHING happens for a purpose and in DIVING TIMING. Damn!
So I did what I always do (or should always do) when faced with a conundrum... I laced up my running shoes. The day came where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, as the lovely Sunny Dawn Johnston would say. That’s when it hit me.
You can't find true love with someone else, until you find it within yourself.
- Dajon Ferrell
I realized I need to be ok with being just me! I want to fall in love with me. I want to find the gift and love in each day...each moment. This is the day that I decided to start dating myself and add in some other fun practices as well.
Being the lovely planner that I am, I had to set an end date, which I can always extend if need be, and also some guidelines! I chose to my dates to be October 7-January 7. This part of the year has always been a challenge for me as it includes my birthday and the holiday season. Everyone is busy with holiday parties and family gatherings. In the past, this is when I hibernate and hang out at home. This is no pity party. I’m just painting the picture as to show you why I chose this period of time.
Then came the guidelines:
- No dating. This does not include hanging out 1-on-1 with friends. Just no dating.
- Limited alcohol. I would like to enjoy a celebratory drink on my birthday or a glass of wine on occasion. It’s all about balance, folks. :-D
- Meditating daily. My intention is to meditate twice daily, but daily will be a success! Yoga Nidra 3 times a week.
- Journal and gratitude jar daily.
- Exercise daily. My intention is to have a good solid workout 4 times a week, but to include some form of exercise or yoga daily.
- Mindful eating. This is just me setting the intention to be aware of what I’m putting in my body. I’m not sure how this will look, but I want to really start listening to body and establishing a better routine with Isagenix and vitamins.
- Take myself on 1 date a week.
- Write one thank-you note a day. My intention is to write most of these by hand, but some might need to be accomplished via email.
- Focus on what makes my heart sing, instead of what makes money. This is my public declaration to launch Brand Happy by my birthday!
- I’m committed to completing 32 Random Acts of Kindness during my birthday month.
- I will not spend the holidays alone. I’ll volunteer on Thanksgiving, along with visiting the VA Medical Center on holidays. I’ll also reach out or accept invitations, instead of trying to not be a hassle.
If you’d like to join me on the journey, please feel free to adopt one of these practices in your life. There's a handy print at the bottom to help guide you! I'm doing this from the heart, so no judgement if I miss a day, but my intentions are set! I’d love to see photos or status updates if you want to share them, so just make sure to add #dajonsmiles or tag Dajon Smiles on social media platforms.
If you’re one of my friends, please understand if I turn down an outing, but don’t hesitate to shoot invitations my way. Also, I want to minimize a lot of the texting and messenger, but will still totally be available. I just might not respond right away. Please don’t take offense. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if something needs immediate attention.
I’m so excited to get started! Thank you all for your support and love! Cheers to falling in love with myself!