The Day I Decided to Start Dating Myself

After several years of being divorced, filled with a couple of relationships and a string of dating, I found myself feeling lonely. Now, before you get all ‘but you’re never truly alone,’ I totally agree with you. But my human mind was doing that whole if I had _____, then I’d be fulfilled thing. It’s not a cute look, I know, but this is me being honest and open with you all. 

My heart craved a partner who gets me, who doesn’t laugh when I say I’m waiting to launch my program until after Mercury Retrograde and who appreciates my crazy multi-passionate ways. Yes, I’m all over the place. Yes, I love unicorns and yes, I think believe I can manifest them. Oh and I believe that I can find a partner who loves all of that and the not-so-awesome parts of me too! Yet, why couldn’t I manifest this super stud of a man into my life. 

After have 8 dates in two weeks, I realized that I totally knew what I was looking for and totally lost at the same time. I know that I am whole and that no ONE can add or take away from that wholeness that I am. I was curious as to why I feel lonely, when I know better than that. This knowing seems to make it all the more frustrating. I’ve had one of the more challenging years of my life, yet I’ve been able to handle most of it with more grace and ease than ever before. 

I was choosing to fill my life with food, wine and good conversation to escape the real underlying issues that haunted me. I didn’t want to face the crap and the real issue of being scared to be alone. Then after each break-up or fizzling out, I began to question my self-worth or if I could have it all. What was I willing to compromise on and what were the deal-breakers? Wouldn’t I just know? I wanted to manifest true love, yet I know that EVERYTHING happens for a purpose and in DIVING TIMING. Damn!

So I did what I always do (or should always do) when faced with a conundrum... I laced up my running shoes. The day came where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, as the lovely Sunny Dawn Johnston would say. That’s when it hit me. 

You can't find true love with someone else, until you find it within yourself. 
- Dajon Ferrell

I realized I need to be ok with being just me! I want to fall in love with me. I want to find the gift and love in each day...each moment. This is the day that I decided to start dating myself and add in some other fun practices as well. 

Being the lovely planner that I am, I had to set an end date, which I can always extend if need be, and also some guidelines! I chose to my dates to be October 7-January 7. This part of the year has always been a challenge for me as it includes my birthday and the holiday season. Everyone is busy with holiday parties and family gatherings. In the past, this is when I hibernate and hang out at home. This is no pity party. I’m just painting the picture as to show you why I chose this period of time. 

Then came the guidelines:

  1. No dating. This does not include hanging out 1-on-1 with friends. Just no dating.
  2. Limited alcohol. I would like to enjoy a celebratory drink on my birthday or a glass of wine on occasion. It’s all about balance, folks. :-D
  3. Meditating daily. My intention is to meditate twice daily, but daily will be a success! Yoga Nidra 3 times a week.
  4. Journal and gratitude jar daily.
  5. Exercise daily. My intention is to have a good solid workout 4 times a week, but to include some form of exercise or yoga daily.
  6. Mindful eating. This is just me setting the intention to be aware of what I’m putting in my body. I’m not sure how this will look, but I want to really start listening to body and establishing a better routine with Isagenix and vitamins. 
  7. Take myself on 1 date a week. 
  8. Write one thank-you note a day. My intention is to write most of these by hand, but some might need to be accomplished via email. 
  9. Focus on what makes my heart sing, instead of what makes money. This is my public declaration to launch Brand Happy by my birthday!
  10. I’m committed to completing 32 Random Acts of Kindness during my birthday month. 
  11. I will not spend the holidays alone. I’ll volunteer on Thanksgiving, along with visiting the VA Medical Center on holidays. I’ll also reach out or accept invitations, instead of trying to not be a hassle. 

If you’d like to join me on the journey, please feel free to adopt one of these practices in your life. There's a handy print at the bottom to help guide you! I'm doing this from the heart, so no judgement if I miss a day, but my intentions are set! I’d love to see photos or status updates if you want to share them, so just make sure to add #dajonsmiles or tag Dajon Smiles on social media platforms.

If you’re one of my friends, please understand if I turn down an outing, but don’t hesitate to shoot invitations my way. Also, I want to minimize a lot of the texting and messenger, but will still totally be available. I just might not respond right away. Please don’t take offense. You can email me at if something needs immediate attention.

I’m so excited to get started! Thank you all for your support and love! Cheers to falling in love with myself!

Keep Smiling!

Be in the NOW

I’m back! I had it in my mind that I needed to work on this business plan or that new product, but I’m living in the moment and in this moment...I want to share. 

How many of you can feel the extreme transformation flowing lately? I feel like I went from searching my purpose to living my purpose. I’ve shifted my paradigm and find myself truly living in the present. I woke up to a beautiful Minnesota day and wanted to go for a run. The old me would’ve thought I needed to get some work done first or do something to earn the run. The new threw down a glass of water and grabbed my running shoes. 

I tend to compare my workouts a lot and grade myself on how I’m doing. I time my runs and map the distance. During the run, I’m trying to ignore that knee pain and push harder. I’m sprint from this sign to that tree or seeing how far past the edge of comfort I can go. Today, I chose my favorite playlist over my ‘Get Fit’ list. I didn’t time my run. I picked a park that’s about 1 1/4 miles away and my goal was to run there, find a sweet spot to meditate and run back.

A new meditation spot

A new meditation spot

As I laid out on this fallen tree, I felt peace. I turned off the music and listened to the ripples in the water, the birds chirping, a happy dog playing, a motorcycle buzzing by...everything that was and I was thankful in that moment. 

I start my return. As I’m listening to the songs of love on iPod, I’m realizing how I’m actually singing them to myself. Try it! Find your favorite love song and sing it to yourself. Fall in love with you again.

A view of my trail today

A view of my trail today

“Follow the signs right back to you, back to you, back to you. I know they wind right back to you, back to you, back to you.”
-Back to You by Twin Forks

“I’ll follow you into the park through the jungle, through the dark. Girl, I’ve never loved one like you. Laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summer night. Never could be sweeter than with you. And in the streets you run afree, like it’s only you and me. Geez, you’re something to see. Home, let me come home. Home is wherever I’m with you.”
-Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

A car goes by with a 111 license plate on this quite back road and I appreciate the Angel message. I then approach a girl and a boy. He’s walking gently beside her. She has on one of those white plastic leg braces. I can see her joy in each step, as the sun shines down on her after a long winter. We’re both approaching a downhill. She pauses to brace herself. I adjust my posture to prepare for the acceleration on my knees. It reminded me that we all prep ourselves differently for the downhills, but what matters is that we keep going one step in front of the other. We all have different journeys, but mine is no better or worse than hers and vice versa. I get to the end of my street, which is a dead end with a ‘FUTURE STREET’ sign. I always end my run in a full sprint and finish by touching the ‘FUTURE’. 

A-HA! I could’ve chose to spend my run criticizing myself for those extra pounds I’ve put on, or challenging myself to do an extra mile, or even being bummed out about those two cocktails I had last night. Or I could just be. Be living and breathing and happy for the downhills, the uphills and all of the learning in between. The future always comes at the end of the run. That’s something we can’t control, but you have the power to choose how you want to live NOW! So I’ll whisper these words of wisdom, let it be, let it be! Cheers to all of us perfectly imperfect souls! You are so very loved. 

My wish is that all of you spend some time falling in love with yourselves. Have a dance party when nobody’s home. Take a walk and stop to put your feet in the grass. Connect. Dissolve separation and be.

“But all the possibilities, no limits, just epiphanies. I’m never gonna look back. I’m never gonna give it up. No, just don’t wake me now. This is gonna be the best day of my life.”
-Best Day of My Life by American Authors

Keep smiling!